i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
