I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
