The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thus making me awesome and them whores
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
