I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
