I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
