it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
