4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
