So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
