we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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