Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
