i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
