I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
