if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
its not stalking. its research.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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