So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
operation harelip BJ is a go
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
