No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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