Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
