Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
