problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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