you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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