I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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