If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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