Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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