Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
