your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
