I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
