Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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