Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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