I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
