I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
