Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
