it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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