i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
