I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
