I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it's not cheating when I paid for it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
