Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
