After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
