I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
