You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
