What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
