3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
