Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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