Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
