He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
