Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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