Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
