Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
