Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
