hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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