I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
