i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
