I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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