ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
